Calm Down!
by CoryS
Summary: I can't explain it, its crazy, just read and tell me what ya think! :
1. Chapter 1

**OKAY, I GOT TIRED OF WRITING MY OTHER STORY AND WAS DYING FOR SOMETHING NEW. I'M NOT GOING FOR LOGIC IN THIS STORY. SO ITS EITHER GOING TO BE INCREDIBLY STUPID OR INCREDIBLY FUNNY. BUT READ IT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. I AM ONLY GOING TO DO ONE CHAPTER THOUGH, UNLESS Y'ALL WANT MORE...HERE IT IS!**

**CALM DOWN**

Walking into the office, Olivia was pouring some coffee into her great big mug. Her partner was already at work. With his trademark attitude on his face.

So she sat down looking at him. He didn't notice, but two hours later she was still looking at him. Her phone suddenly rung. That pissed her off beyond anything.

"Benson! What the hell you want?" She screamed into the reciever, she didn't have time for this crap.

"Help...me, please!" Came the tremebling voice, "I was just raped."

"Hey BIMBO go tell someone who gives a shit. All you filthy whores call me all day complaining about how you were raped, how you were so fuckin' scared! I don't need this." And with that she hung up.

"So, one of them again huh?"

"Yeah"

"I wonder why they always call, its annoying as hell. I swear if I gotta work on another case till midnight and Kathy keeps bitchin at me...I'ma, I'ma do something really bad." Elliot said.

"Really, that's terrible. I just wanted you to know, you so fuckin hot."

"Tell me somethin new."

Suddenly, Olivia's chair started to fall over and she couldn't couldn't get up. Rushing to her side, Elliot held her hand.

"AH! Elliot!their coming!"Next sounds that came were two identical popping sounds.

Under Liv's tablecame crying noises.

"WAAHH, WAHH!" The newborns cried.

"Oh,El, we're parents! Lets name em Freddy and Jason."

"But one ofem's a girl."

"I DON'T CARE, I WILL NAME THEM WHATIDAMN WELL PLEASE!"

He had a slight look of hurt onhis face.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. If you want to go release your anger you can hit that perp thats been in the interrogation room."

Elliot stood up and went over to the room, you could hear his cries of help from the office. "AHH,DUDE QUIT HITTING ME!"

"Alright get back up, I'm finished. Oh and if you want,when you get out of here we can still have our aniversary at my place. You know the number, man."

Elliot came back to Liv's side. She was nowstanding talking to Brian Cassidy.

"...Yeah, but I really don't want twins. Its gonna put a damper on things, so why don't you take one or something."

Fin, Munch and Cragen wereall laughing hysterically at what was happening.

SVU'sADA, Casey Novak came in.

"AW, what asexy baby, just like her mother." Casey noted.

All of a sudden, Alex Cabot appeared from thea black void next to SVU's up to Casey, Alex threwa punch into the redhead's face.

All hell broke lose.

"Oh my freakin..." PUNCH

"OLIVIA LIKES ME! CASEY, NOT YOU. FIND YOULESI!"

"Alright, that's it." Casey and Alex started hitting everywhere.

Realizing what was happening, Olivia stepped in.

"Woah, wait aminute. I ain't Gay!"

And with that she left the policedepartment only to get shot and die. Everyone started crying furiously.

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Review! 


	2. Olivia and Elliot

**Chapter two: Elliot and Olivia **

**"Hey Liv. What's going on?" Elliot questioned.**

**"Nothing why?"**

**"Just going out to eat, can you come with me?" He questioned he realized that he loved Olivia and would do anything to be with her. **

**"Sure lets go."**

DINER ACROSS STREET

**"What did you want to talk about?" Liv questioned, wondering if he was about to confess his undying love for her. Although if he did and they became a couple, they would both just split up because Elliot would betray her somehow and it would take years for them to make up and live happily ever after.**

**"I think we should go out."**

**"What about Kathy?"**

**"She already thinks we are, so I am Catholic and don't want to lie, so we may as well make it true."**

**"Let me think about it...Alright." She agreed.**

**"You want to go back to my new apartment in Queens and have wild sex until Cragen calls us in. When he askes why we look so flushed we could just say we were driving around going 90mph."**

**"I'd love to. Cause I love you so much El."**

**"Me too, I don't know what I did without you all these years. Your my life liv."**

**"And your my saver...your my life saver. I feelI can tell you everything without you betraying my feelings.**

**ELLIOT'S NEW APARTMENT IN QUEENS**

**"Oh, Elliot. Do it!" She screamed while Elliot was about to do it.**

**"Do what Liv. Tell me, I want to hear you say it."**

**"Fuck me El. Fuck me now!"**

**Just when she reached her climax through their wild sex, Cragen called.**

**"Hello." Elliot answered.**

**"Hey Elliot, I need you and Liv at 14 Chealsea St. A 14 year old girl was supposedly raped.**

**"Be there in a sec."**

**When he hung up Liv was already getting dressed.**

**"Where do we have to go?" **

**"14 Chealsea St."**

**14TH CHEALSEA STREET**

**"Hey you too, why you looked so flushed?" Cragen asked.**

**"Oh, me and Olivia were having wild sexual intercourse." Elliot blatanly stated.**

**Olivia was shocked, and she felt hurt and betrayed.**

**"Olivia, you are hearby dismissed from the SVU unit. Hand me your gun and badge."**

**"WHAT! Why me, why not Stabler?"**

**"Because he's a dude, and us dudes gotta stick together, and cause I'm gay and Elliot has a hot ass!" Cragen revealed.**

**"Fine! here is my gun and badge. And Elliot, I never want to see you again, you betrayed my love and trust for you. You played me Elliot and I never want to see you again." **

**After that she packed up and left to work with Queens' SVU.**

**4 YEARS LATER.**

**Through a case Elliot and Olivia were partnerd up again. **

**"Hey Olivia, how have you been?" He asked.**

**"Shut the hell up, we should be professionble about this Det. Stabler."**

**Sadfully he understood. "I agree Det. Benson."**

**Thinking about, he had broken her heart. But she was getting to old to be picky and find true love.**

**"You know what Stabler?"**

**"What?"**

**"Forget about it, let's become a couple again, I realized that I do love you and couldn't possible be with anyone but you." **

**"Me neither. I love you more than you know."**

**They hugged and started making out in the street. Elliot realized this and started to get up. Thinking Olivia realized it also he started to walk out the street with out her. Next thing he knew, Olivia was ran over by a prison bus. The bus snapped her into two, killing her instantly.**

**"NOOOO!" Elliot cried, reaching into his pocket for his gun. He pulled it out and shot himself in the head.**

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**A/N: The chapters don't go together.**


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